Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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