every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
