We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
