take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
