your thong is hanging out like whoa
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
