There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
