fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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