she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
