I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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