Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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