He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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