you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
