i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize