when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
