...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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