ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
