Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
