I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
