John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
