We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
