She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
