dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
