Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
