I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
