i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
