Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
