I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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