I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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