I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We left the knife in your bed.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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