i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
