I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you would pick up someone in the library
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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