So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
