So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
