I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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