the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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