There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
