If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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