i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Its about making memories worth repressing
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
