Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
