What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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