She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
