Soap is not a condiment
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
