It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
