gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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