He uses pillows to masturbate.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
