i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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