i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
