With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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