M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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