i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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