im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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