You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
