last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
birth control should be required to get into college
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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