we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
