sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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