i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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