her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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