Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
