Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
