ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Boobs are out for the taking
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
